I have ponded this thought for a while because some days I’m feeling extremely motivated and others not so much. Can motivation just come and go like that? Is there a reason for it? If I knew these answers I’m just I’d be motivated right now to do something worth doing. Today is just one of those days.
Something I’m struggling with at the minute is uncertainty. Not knowing what lies ahead is scary. I have so many things coming up however none of them are long term or take me where I want to be. I applied for a masters and haven’t heard back, and to me this was my only way of getting to where I wanted to be. However, I have realised it’s probably not. However, I don’t know how to get there without it.
As I’ve finished University, I’ve had more free time and in some respects I’ve really loved it and in others, I just don’t know what to do with myself. University provided a semi schedule. Something I have tried to do for myself since I have finished, however it hasn’t really worked. (Not that I can say I thought it would anyway, I never stick to schedules). I have worked, (more than I want too), seen friends that are still about, written a list of things I need to do for my blog, scripts and even just chores but still find myself not achieving much of it. To be honest, I am achieving one by writing this now, so maybe that’s a start.
As everyday passes and more decisions have to be made I can feel my chest hurt with stress and to be honest I just don’t know what I’m doing. Does everyone feel like this after finishing something that should push you towards your dream job? Fingers crossed I’m not the only one.
Sorry for this super depressing post but hopefully if others feel like this they can relate and it will help people know that it’s not just them feeling this way. Well hopefully it’s not just me feeling this way…